An essay on love. And why it's impossible. But how to find it (part 1).

Love is the great human ideal. The benchmark of benchmarks. It's a cliche so flogged it could wake a dead horse. It's so platitudinous that its mere use on sunsets and rainbows inspires nausea — at least for me. Most of us don't even know what it is or how we're supposed to find it. It's harder to understand and acquire than wealth, and many of us prefer to pursue the latter, only to yearn for the former later in life. Because money doesn't feed our souls. And therein lies the key. Even if you don't believe in God, you were conceived on this earthly plane via love. Your parents probably loved one another at the moment you were spawned, even if they later battled and divorced; the second of your making was fertilized with the foodstuff of souls. And if it genuinely wasn't, then your soul is challenging itself indeed, to discover and actually feel it in this lifetime.

If we take love for its hallmark definition — a cozy little feeling inspired by the cuteness of a baby, a puppy, or the bestest of people — then it's almost impossible to feel most of the time, because most fellow humans aren't that. Most other humans are fairly unlovable. Certainly there are rare individuals for whom the world is a warm blanket and they bathe in universal love for all things and everyone, but most of us live in the raw, undiluted, dog-eat-dog, spit-in-your-face day the world is increasingly becoming. And from that perspective, we understandably don't feel very loving most of the time except toward those beings we choose to actually cohabit with: a potted plant or a pet, a partner, or our TV remote. Our group is small, by necessity and circumstance. And in applying this type of love, our group shrinks as we age, until near the end of this round we're sitting there alone and decrepit, feeling a semblance of cozy love for our carer possibly, but definitely for the crabby old cat we rescued, who pats our face each morning hoping to be fed — or, if we've popped our clogs, then we're the breakfast. Either will do for a cat.

The idea is not to grow up and peel off the iron-on love heart of childhood, but to understand one thing. The one thing that is impossible for many to contemplate. But it is the arc of the covenant of soul awareness, and only comes, I believe, after many lives have been endured on this merry-go-round we call Earth. That we are all from the same place. Source. We are all energy. We were all seeded by love. Each of us a unique thought of Source. Billions of identical spheres of energy exuding from a cosmic nursery, nannied until conscious then released like fledged birds into the universe to take on physical form, all by the original love. And as we age and cycle and experience and grow our empathy, we learn to see. And though this seems like a tenet of a particular religion beginning with B, it is in fact the conclusion of all great theologians regardless of creed. Truly loving humans, and I've met a few, are often in far-flung places living austere lives, ministering to others in utter selflessness and authentic compassion. We're all the same, just some emanated from Source consciousness earlier than others and have been at this longer, and so have acquired the understanding. But we mostly all get there. Eventually, I believe.

So it starts with putting on enough lives. And then we find consciousness — a perpetual state of self-awareness, sensitivity and responsiveness. I heard one old soul once say, when I asked what percentage of the planet was currently conscious, "20%?" No, he said. Maybe 2 (%). And that's the reality. Old souls stop coming here after enough lives (or the count would be much higher), but the ones that are still here are possibly in their last incarnation, because they're conscious of themselves, of others, of everything in the moment, and know better than any of us the meaning of life. And it's to love. We are seeded by it and cast out into the universe with free will to learn and grow and chase love all the way back to Source. Who knows where we will go next; there are a billion inhabitable planets to explore and our souls live for infinity, so no rush. But consciousness starts here and now by applying that other cliche: live in the moment. Living in the moment forces consciousness.

We don't just start feeling loving the second we're conscious. That's just when the KAUL begins. (To be continued...)